I know it's possible to prevent EPDM from automatically trying to check out all of the referenced files on check out by disabling the "Try to check out all referenced files when the referencing file is checked out." Is it possible to do the same when checking in a file? I don't want the child references to automatically be enabled. Ideally, they wouldn't even show, but as long as they were disabled, it would save a lot of time.
I don't know of a setting for that, but what you propose seems... risky to me.
you have drawing1 of assy1 with its parts part1 and part 2 checked out. if you check in just the drawing, then you may make edits to the parts or assembly. and they would not be reflected in the checked in version of the drawing.