I noticed that many of us engineers have some difficulty having great social skills. I find it a shame becase it may hamper our potential to reach better positions (but our managerial skills lack). Is anyone else in the same position?
Ho boy yes. I have very poor social skills, specifically with inter-relational with coworkers. I can sell a poor man used furniture he cant afford, and I can relate a design and the missing information I need to complete it, but its difficult for me to share about anything not work related. I loose interest in people yammering away about their "things and stuffs". I think its from getting yelled at so much for talking to people that I just lost interest in trying.... If a manager walks by and yells at us to get back to work when I didn't need to hear this guys sob story in the first place.
Hmm that sounds caustic... meh
Hey ! thanks for your answer. Do you think it gets better with age?
Depends what company u r working for. For our Eng.team, we go out for lunch every Friday. the company also has diff. branches, so we go out for dinner each time we visit each other. We share the interests and walk together each day at 2pm for about half mile around the campus. We get together sometime in the weekend and run for few miles
During this difficult time, we on the MS Teams every morning for about 1 to 2 hrs. I have to admit I don't feel much dff. working from home thru Teams - love the Apps.
By the way, if you post your mesg here, you'd have more responses from other folks there
We can bring them here.
Online gaming, Auto crossing, trading card games, internet forum are all socializing
Also you can count online bullying and trolling.
So we do have pretty good "social skills".
Define "better position".
My "better" mean pay more.
Title doesn't matter, we're always solving someone else problems.
It is "better" when I get paid and someone else got the blame
Which is kinda where I'm now
Hence I can put up with Solid Not Working.
Frederick Law wrote: "Better position"Define "better position".My "better" mean pay more.Title doesn't matter, we're always solving someone else problems.It is "better" when I get paid and someone else got the blame Which is kinda where I'm now Hence I can put up with Solid Not Working.
Frederick Law wrote:
To me, "pay more" doesn't mean "better position" - I'd better get "pay less" but happy !
Christian Chu wrote: Frederick Law wrote: "Better position"Define "better position".My "better" mean pay more.Title doesn't matter, we're always solving someone else problems.It is "better" when I get paid and someone else got the blame Which is kinda where I'm now Hence I can put up with Solid Not Working.To me, "pay more" doesn't mean "better position" - I'd better get "pay less" but happy !
Christian Chu wrote:
Fo Real Mang
In social situations I tend to be an introvert. I loose interest in hearing people talk about most things, especially their lives, loves, and hobbies.
Unless I am interested in a particular topic.
Start talking about a poker tournament or home game and I will magically turn into an extrovert. Tell me about the bridge you just finished designing and I will have a hundred questions for you.
Mention your cat and I will drift off in my head.
I have worked hard at not being that way. I force myself to join in chit chat and be interested, as well as interesting.
Believe it or not, it works. People treat you differently, better when you are actively participating. They will genuinely like you more. You will be included in different activities as well as conversations. Doors open. Opportunities present themselves.
Here is the secret I learned.
No one cares how hard or uncomfortable you feel when joining a group. That's only a personal conversation you are having with yourself in your head. Get over it. You have a family (or will have) and responsibilities to fulfill. Figure out how to make it work and then just do it.
Spend some time reading the articles here https://www.artofmanliness.com/ Every little bit helps.
You can do this Michel. I believe in you.
Well Spoken! Hooray the introverts! United we sit, divided we cry!
Michel Abifadel wrote: Hey ! thanks for your answer. Do you think it gets better with age?
Michel Abifadel wrote:
Meh, I dont think it has much to do you age or experience. For me its a comfort level thing. If nobody is going to burst in my office door and tell me to get back to work sure I'll make pleasant chit chat while you tell me about how you taught your cat to do push-ups. I'd rather not, but I'll be friendly.
If though you want to tell me about some secret tip about solidworks or if you want to relay the power you found in Skeleton Sketch Part method, I'll tell whoever bursts in to bugger off for 5 mins then yell at us if that gets his rocks off.
But its like rick said, I'm an introvert that puts most of my energy into the things I'm passionate about. I dont spare much energy for cat-tricks. But I am constantly vigilant for potential customers or personal advancement. Ha if my CEO came in wanting to talk about cat-tricks I'd likely try to give him a few suggestions or something.
What do we have in common? We work at the same place.....
I've invited several over to worship the dark lord but nobody seems to want to come. Beats me.
I personally don't get along much with the "ENGINEERING" archetypes. The kind of people who try to build a watch when you ask them what time it is bug me so hard. Reminds me of the boy scout type who when tasked to make a campfire spend an hour collecting the perfect sized sticks and angling them just right instead of throwing a bunch of sticks into a pile and pouring some gas on.
Dude I had a BLAST when my last Mech Lead invited me over to worship the dark lord. We listened to heavy metal playing cards against humanity with a few pizzas and beer. Don't pass up the dark lord yo
I just can't help myself. I have to post a joke I heard years ago about engineers. Do you know how you can tell an engineer who's an introvert from one who's an extrovert?
If he's an introvert he'll look at his shoes when he's talking to you. If he's an extrovert he'll look at your shoes.
It depends on the person. I kow some seriously cranky old people. But then, I also know some seriously, amazingly, patient and kind old people too.
Speaking as one of those cranky old people Dan referred to, it definitely can. Just like with almost anything else, if you have identified the problem and are willing to work at it, it can get better. I don't believe I'll ever be as comfortable in social situations as most people seem to be, but it's definitely gotten better.
Keep thinking of "old fart".
Michel Abifadel wrote:Hey ! thanks for your answer. Do you think it gets better with age?
It gets better with practice.
Getting older puts your priorities in perspective.
What was once centrally important isn't necessarily so as you age.
As your glass empties you covet the wine more.
yup... I guess it depends on the personality of each one of us! I wonder if those crancky people just gave up on becoming better socialy or they are by natural like that
Thanks for your answer! Is there anything you did specifically to get over the problem?
Okay I see ! Are there maybe certains things I may consider important now but will look at them differently later on based on your personal experience? (I am 28)
Hello Chirstian and thanks for the response ! Yeah, we are starting to realise we can pretty much work from anywhere now..but aside from work collegues, do you feel you make progress with other types of social encounters since the moment you were a 'fresh' graduate?
hello Rick and thanks a lot for the link! Great resource ! Ok I see what you mean.
And thanks for cheering me up!
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