When working with display states in drawings, it helps when at the same time you have the display state open in the assembly. SW seems to be less random if you work that way. I also found that using design table with $DISPLAYSTATE forces SW to be more reliable. Unfortunately we lost the ability to show-hide components in DT. I usually name display states used in drawing with a prefix DRW. That way I know its referenced in the drawing somewhere in case you work with others. Sometimes I create smaller dummy assemblies that I use solely for display in the drawing. Working with master models & sketches is required so you can maintain the parametric mate relations.
Again that's something you need to plan ahead and is difficult to do in existing designs. Or at least cause major re-work especially if drawings are affected. Another trick is using in-context assembly sketches that I can convert in a view and use. Often a silhouette is all I need.
You could also tell SW and your VAR about it. Maybe it helps sending them a brief update on the situation. Display states would be great if they worked properly.
Tell your VAR that display states and configurations are different. Using Configurations require fore sight in how you build your assembly and requires more time. Suppressing fully mated components can leave other components "unconstraint". That's the big advantage of display states. I doesn't affect your mates. After all we are charged full price, aren't we. Maybe there should be a list of promoted features that a customer can fill out at time of purchase (applies to initial purchase & subscription). Afterwards, if the features fail to work in production then you get money back. That would keep the "honesty" in the agreement between customer & seller.
I sad to say but I think there is only a slim chance that display states will work well soon.